Letting Go Of Baby Things
Just a few years ago, I finally resigned myself to knowing I wasn’t going to have any more babies. It’s not a simple thing to do. There’s a huge emotional impact in coming to terms with that. I love raising my children, each and every part of it. I also don’t like the idea of growing older.
I went through our storage room, pulled out boxes of baby clothes, baby toys and baby equipment. These things had been in storage for years, hidden away because of my reluctance to part with any of it. Every item seemed so special, brought back so many memories. Nothing was ordinary enough to make letting go if it easy, but I did my best. I made a small bag of keepsakes like coming home outfits, first Christmas outfits and the like, and proceeded to dispose of everything else.
I had garage sales, I listed things on ebay, and I gave a lot away. It was difficult, it made me very sad, and more than once I wanted to run screaming after an item to get it back. But the baby phase was over, I was the mom of half-grown boys, and life was good.
Then a crazy thing happened. Completely and totally out of the blue, I was pregnant. Sure, I know how it happens. But when it hadn’t happened in 11 years, I kind of let the possiblity completely slip out of my mind.
So I found myself re-acquiring the baby stuff. Age, wisdom and experience allowed me to keep the list down to a minimum. Knowing how quickly they outgrow things that are wants more than needs, we’ve done a good job of managing with a no frills approach. RM is well taken care of, comfortable, and has just what she needs of most things. Probably a few too many toys though.
She’s growing quickly, as babies do, and I once again find myself with baby things in storage. Not too terribly many, and a lot of already second hand stuff, but nevertheless there is a small but growing pile of boxes of no longer needed baby things. And I find myself facing the entire emotional adjustment all over again. I don’t want to let any of it go.
At 40 years old, and tired, and with a very full life, I really have no intention of having any more children. It would be very unwise for us in a lot of ways. Our already complete family is even more wonderfully blessed now, in RM we were given an incredible gift. But honestly, I am done now.
But no, you can’t have my baby swing, or that cute little pink outfit, or any of it. I’m keeping it. All of it. For now.
