I’ve been preoccupied for a few days with the sadness in my house. Just the other day I posted this photo of our oldest cat Poco curled up asleep with RM. On Friday Poco disappeared from the house. We are all completely torn up over this.

Poco is 18 years old. She was my first “baby;” V and I brought her home just before we were married. None of the kids can remember life without her around the house. We all just thought of her as a permanent part of the routine here.

She wasn’t the most affectionate of our pets; she had her own way of doing things. She would occasionally allow you to pet her, but usually preferred to sit on a blue jean clad leg without otherwise being touched. She loved to burrow under blankets; we were often surprised by her when we would climb into bed or just go to straighten blankets. The computer chair was one of her favorite daytime perches, and she would stubbornly stay put even if you pretended you might sit on her. Her vocalizations were unique and insistent as she let you know when she wanted food, or water, or just to remind you of her presence. She ruled the house and all the other animals, large and small.

We don’t know what actually happened to her. Poco has always been an indoor cat, although in her youth she would sneak out on rare occasions. In recent years as age has caught up with her, she’s always been content to just stare out the doors or windows. I honestly didn’t think she would venture out an open door on her own anymore.

But we haven’t seen her since sometime Thursday night. Friday morning she didn’t come to the kitchen asking for breakfast, she wasn’t spotted in any of her usual places all during the day, and she didn’t show up to try and steal bites of pork chop with the other cats Friday evening. We have searched every inch of the house repeatedly and there is no sign of her.

The boys have put up flyers around the neighborhood and I’ve listed her on a local pet finders site, but I’m not sure how much hope there is. If she’s not in the house she had to have wandered out at some point. The nights were very cold, and I’m not sure how her thin, old body could have taken it. I wonder if perhaps she just went away because it was her time to go.

We haven’t given up completely, but with each passing day it seems more and more unlikely that she will come home. SW is having the hardest time of all and refuses to think he won’t see her again. TR just wants to know what happened to her, one way or another; he can’t take the uncertainty. I just want my beautiful Poco back, I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.