Finding What’s Lost

After a long whining rant about everything that has gone bad, I need a longer list of plans to make things better. I’m still tempted to add to the rant, and I keep thinking of things to add to it, more things that are frustrating and challenging me, but I don’t think that is what will help. I need solutions.

I need to take more walks. I was thinking about this yesterday, and even did go outside for a little while in spite of the fact it was only about 42 degrees. RM loved it, even though her little fingers were icicles because she won’t keep mittens on. But the exercise and fresh air can only help; walking off the stress and perhaps getting my blood circulating will help heal up whatever is causing all the aches and pains.

So it was funny when I read this post later at Crazy Aunt Purl. I’m a reformed smoker myself, so I understand the desire to fall back on that one for a coping skill. The food definitely calls me as well, but we no longer keep sugary things in the house. I guess maybe it’s good I’m stuck here with no car or money, otherwise I might be spending the meager grocery budget on ice cream or cappucinos.

I’ll be walking over to a friend’s house later today to let the kids play. That’s a two-for-one there, taking the walk to get the exercise, and spending more time with friends. When I start feeling the downside of everything, I tend to want to pull away from people. I’m pretty insecure about my friendships, and I don’t want to alienate anyone with my sob stories. But it doesn’t help to hide. I need to take the time and make the effort to get out, do things, and be around friends. And I try to focus on being a friend as well, and a listener, and not a complainer. I’m not perfect at it, but I try.

I’m trying vitamins, and a vitamin rich tea. It seems basic, but nutrition can’t hurt, and maybe will help with the aches and pains and tiredness. We try to eat well around here, but we have slipped a bit lately. Getting what goes in back in balance certainly could help getting the rest of life back in balance as well.

I am going to write things down, and prioritize a little. A sense of some kind of control over things usually makes me feel better. At least if I can’t get to everything, perhaps I can get to what is the most important. Lists also help me see what I have accomplished. They also take away the panic I feel at the thought I might forget something.

And last, but not least, this makes me feel good:

Creating things makes me happy, especially things for myself. I made this up very quickly from Noro Kujaku I got in a lot of Noro odds and ends from a very nice knitter on Destash. It’s loosely based on this scarf pattern, done with a single repeat on size 13 straights.

The picture doesn’t really do the scarf justice, it’s much prettier; the black contrasts with the colors of the wrap threads in the yarn, and it fades to the lighter areas where the stark black is blended with soft versions of the other colors. I decided to make it after hunting around for patterns and ideas using the yarn I received, and thinking of a light scarf for this crazy April weather we are having at the moment. Spring is supposed to be fully and completely here, yet we have a weather forecast tonight that includes multiple inches of snow.

So, positive thoughts and positive plans and maybe I’ll start feeling more in balance soon. I certainly hope so.

April 13th, 2007 Posted by Tracy | Knitting!!, This "Is" My Life, The Rest of Me | one comment