Boys Will Be…..
On a good day, we have about fifteen minutes of peace after TR gets home from school before he and SW are arguing about something. Today wasn’t a good day, so it was more along the lines of five minutes.
I wonder just what it is that makes them so argumentative with each other. I think that V and I set a slightly better example for them than that - not that we don’t have our disagreements, but it’s more along the lines of a few times a month than a few times a day. We try to model disagreement settling behaviors, methods for stepping back and keeping things in perspective, and ways to avoid conflict to begin with. We spend a lot of time teaching them to walk away from each other or not let the other’s words have too much power. I simply can’t seem to explain to TR that I won’t ground him just because SW says to. As a matter of fact, grounding isn’t part of our discipline routine at all so I’m not sure why it’s such a source of frustration for him.
I guess it’s a function of being brothers, or teenage brothers perhaps. I don’t remember quite this much strife between my two brothers growing up, but I had a different perspective then and less emotional investment in how they behaved. I do know for certain that a great deal of it is simply the frustration of living with a sibling with Autism. TR has a lot to put up with on that one, and he’s doing it with his own case of Bi-Polar disorder.
RM is sometimes our two-year-old comic relief in some of these situations. She will walk in a room and join the battle, babbling a string of non-sensical syllables and shaking her little fist. As her language is developing, so are her interventions. Today I told her to tell them not to fight. So she walks in the room, and says “Boys, fight.” That got a laugh at least.
For all their arguing though, it usually takes just as short a period of time before one has to share some amazing fact or exciting bit of news or great idea with the other.
—————————————————————————————–
I just stepped away for a moment here to break up another disagreement over the best way to perform some sort of maneuver in a video game. I told them someone needed to step out to another room right now. But it was RM who said “OK” and headed down the hall.
Hi Tracy. Hugs to you and Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! I read over your past few posts and really feel for your situation. The first thing that comes into my mind is a Bible verse that I have had to repeat to myself so many times over the years in similar situations: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harest if we do not give up. Gal 6:9. We reap what we sow Tracy. Don’t give up. You’re being a good example for your children. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care and be sure to post on your blog…. and knit if you can - it’s such great therapy!
Comment by Laura | February 14, 2008